As usual, Loho is busy spreading her special strain of genital warts to brahs across the world. Her new oxycontin dealer/boyfriend is some British model named Calum Best, whose dad was an alkie “footballer” and who Loho has boned before – in between, you know, all those other dudes she’s boned.
I dislike this guy for numerous reasons:
1. He looks like a skinhead Jude Law.
2. He’s wearing a woman’s sparkly belt buckle from a 2002 Macy’s catalog.
3. He’s British (not a great reason, but come on. We all know most Brits are pretentious D-Bags who secretly love trashy Brit-caliber reality tv shows)
However I LOVE Mr. Best for one new tidbit that popped up in yesterday’s Daily News.
Apparently whilst in the Bahamas with his Georgia Ruling meal ticket, the guy mouth raped some JC Penney model. Here’s how the violation went down:
“I was walking to the ladies’ room when I passed him walking from the men’s room. He gave me a smile. Then he put his hands on my hips and turned me toward the wall, like he was a cop who was about to frisk me. He held my hands so my booty would be pressed against his … well, his crotch.
“I turned to move away. Then he grabbed by jaw and planted a kiss. I giggled. Okay, I might have been a little intoxicated. But I was also shocked. I didn’t know this guy’s name. The whole time, no words were spoken. Finally, I walked away. After I came out of the bathroom, I went back to the main room, and saw this same guy kissing Lindsay Lohan. She was kind of straddling him. I said to myself, ‘What just happened here?'”
HOT. I love a guy who thinks it’s totally fine to press someone’s booty on his crotch. Loho is just as good at picking guys as she is at picking movie roles.