You know, this is all new to me, but I’ve gotten the feeling that Mother’s Day is supposed to be weird for you if you don’t have a mom.
We all kind of grew up being superficially aware of that one kid in class who didn’t have anyone to paper mache a mask for during that May or June school art project. We all felt bad for that kid in a way, like we thought he/she was really having a sucktastic time plugging away at some craft for his dead parent, but you know, our parents were alive, so who cared? Maybe you weren’t all assholes like me, but that was kind of my elementary school vibe.
I’ve just been sensing that the overall cultural expectation is that us parentless peeps are supposed to be sad on these holidays, like the second your parent dies you’re immediately left out from celebrating their role in your life on one special day each year. And that today is supposed to make you sadder than every other day about your loss. For me, today is no sadder than any other day without my mom. I always feel the void of my mom’s absence. But I also feel her presence too.
Mothers Day hasn’t really bothered me that much at all. In fact, my day today has been pretty awesome. I ran in a four mile race today with five wonderful people, had brunch at 9AM (is that possible?), coached a wonderful improv team, bought delicious overpriced tofu at Whole Foods, and then trotted home for some reality TV watching and writing. I saw plenty of mother-daughter dining teams, gaggles of flower buyers, lots of card-exchanging and hugging, but honestly, it made me really happy. I’m so glad people can celebrate their moms. Moms are awesome. I love a lot of other moms who didn’t give birth to me. I love my mom. So hurray for today.
So I was feeling pretty stable and indestructible! Mothers Day and all it’s mother-living and loving would not bring me down! I was hanging in there and rocking it out – until these three popped onto my TV screen:
There I am loving Tori and Dean and their Oxygen show Inn Love, and they of course have to go and pop out their baby on national TV so I could have a tiny tear-flowing meltdown. I’m sure this crap would have made me cry regardless of the day, but something about the whole “becoming a new mom” thing made me think about mine. Oh and then I blubbered like a fat kid without food.
Also – BABIES! I’m almost 28 and I love babies! (I know every man who read that just recoiled in fear and horror) And as I learned yesterday, your baby love only grows stronger when you watch the little ones dance. A live band in Central Park had an army of babies jamming around them like it was a Weebles Woodstock, and I watched with glee for fifteen minutes.
Anyway, mama-fugly Tori Spelling and her soft-faced hubs made me weep. Who knew it could happen? I made it ten years through 90210 without shedding a tear.