Goodbye Girls


Recently I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about some serious things in my life. Mainly, my loyalty to Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan.

I’ve been an avid ironi-fan of these two for a while, adoring their every insane move.
Getting stoned and driving the wrong way on the highway? LOVE IT!
Not eating for three weeks? BRING IT ON!
I love these crazy, boney thugz.

But recently I read this story about Lohania breaking into to some former pal’s house and stealing $10,000 worth of her clothes. The tale goes on to include Ms. Richie, who prank called the girl after. The girl, model Lauren Hastings, dated Richie’s ex, DJ Am, after he dumped her skeleton.
If there was any question about the validity of the story, Hastings posted a response to the whole ordeal on her MySpace blog, our generation’s Meet The Press.

I’ve begun to realize exactly what my heart didn’t want me to see: that Lindsay and Nicole are crazy, devilish bitches who have had sad lives that have left them hungry for attention – and hungry for food. They are not misunderstood lost little girls. They are some crazy, fucked up bitches whose nasty actions have zero consequences.
My point: they are the girls who made my life scary and horrible in ninth grade.

So, I think I’m done. I’m going to find bigger wastes to focus my adoring eye on. Because I can not support their actions any longer. And also, Nicole is getting really beat looking. She showed up at the Australian MTV Awards looking like this:


And when you are out-hotted at an event by Pink and Fergie, you know there’s a major problem.


1 Response to “Goodbye Girls”

  1. 1 portermason April 30, 2007 at 9:56 am

    I am astounded it has taken until now for you to come to this life-changing revelation.

    I support it whole-heartedly.

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