There are certain TV shows that mortify me while watching them. By the end I am decked out in a disguise so no one recognizes me as I rot my brain with reality trash.
This is what I looked like last night as I watched the first episode of Sons of Hollywood on A&E.
If you haven’t already heard of this show then stop reading this blog, run otuside, and enjoy all that nature has to offer you. However if you’ve already been contaminated, stay put. Set your Tivo for A&E and prepare to feel shame and ruin.
Sons of Hollywood “stars” three people you’ve never heard of: Rod’s son Sean Stewart, Aaron Spelling, the less ugly sibling, and David Weintraub, their agent/friend and master of the Jeremy Piven impression.
If you’ve ever hung out with with really rich, overprivileged douchebags in public than you’ve seen this show. The only thing that sets it apart from real life is that the rich snobs I know are almost always decent looking, whereas all three Sons have the sex appeal of deformed burn victims (sorry nice burn victims). You couldn’t find three uglier guys with even uglier tattoos and unjustifed egos if you dragged a net through the Meatpacking district on a Saturday night. They’re a bunch of nobodies who have sat around for 27-years forming drug habits and fucking waitresses while their geezer dads made money. The only one with a semblance of a work ethic is David, the agent, who runs around like a lunatic dry fucking his blackberry with his ear. Sadly, he’s the best looking Son, too.
The pilot episode made me so uncomfortable because you are forced to sit and watch as three people – who are the age of my dad when he had his first kid, mind you – act like two year olds in every public place they venture into. Screaming and throwing things at a restaurant, driving around on top of a golf cart, shirtless, at a nice golf course, all the while giving Los Angeles a bad name with their cheesey slang and attempts at breaking up a fight with “dude, chill out, we’re all going to get laid tonight.”
It’s not the fact that they’re overprivileged that is annoying, it’s that they use their privilege as a means to act like total losers and have no idea how they come across. Its my guess that when you are that spoiled you can either live life with no boundaries, or you can choose to do something positive with yourself. So far I have yet to see anyone do the latter, but I have hopes for Tori Spelling’s new giant-nostriled baby. Though on the other hand, he’s going to be really good at snorting things.