Curt Schilling, the aging ace pitcher who blew the Red Sox first game of the season on Monday, has a blog. Everyone interested in the Boston sports world has been reading and discussing it since its inception, as Schilling is an opinionated dude who never hesitates to bash people that he hates, mostly the Boston sports media. Schilling is also known for his blond mullet, his love of Jesus and the fugly cross necklace that he wears, and his outspoken support of President Bush. This Schillings are also crazy charitable, and do stuff like move an entire family from New Orleans to Boston after their home was destroyed by Hurricane Katrina. So, good people.
His wife’s name is Shonda, which should paint a nice picture of cheesy diamonds and big blond hair (she’s also a cancer survivor so I have to be nice). They have an army of children, just like Brangelina but way blonder. Just in case you’re having a hard time imagining his clan, here’s his family’s Christmas picture:
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White turtlenecks. WHITE TURTLENECKS! Are major league ball players that poor that a white turtleneck is the only matching shirt they can find for their Christmas cards? This gives me little hope in the American dream. Work hard, make a lot of money and yet you still can’t provide your family members with that sassy, adorable and festive matching top for your family photo. Is there any hope these days?
Don’t you feel bad for the kid in the back row of the picture? He’s clearly inherited his Dad’s mullet but looks like he loves Grey’s Anatomy and is being punished for it.