Dear Future Children Of My Womb,
Please know that I plan on fully supporting all your creative endeavors and missteps of self expression. In sixth grade I once wore hammer pants and put rubber bands at the bottom of each pant leg so that they would stay put above my ankles. I understand, and fully support, attempting fashion moves that may not work. Be yourself, whatever that self may be. I promise to be totally accepting.
Except if you pull this shit, in which case I will happily disown you and throw you to the wolves.