The reason I majored in Womens Studies in college was not because so many women are oppressed (that was part of it), but because some women are fucking idiots.
You see, some friendly community theare in Florida was running a production of Eve Ensler’s feminist cooter-fest “The Vagina Monologues”. And when some FUCKING IDIOT saw the marquee where it was listed and her niece asked her what a vagina was, instead of answering her honestly, she freaked out and called the theatre to complain.
Atlantic Theatres in Atlantic Beach, Florida, received a complaint from a woman who’d seen the advertised title as she drove past with her niece. She said that it had made her niece ask her what a vagina was.
The theatre’s Bryce Pfanenstiel commented: ‘I’m on the phone and asked “What did you tell her?” She’s like, “I’m offended I had to answer the question.”’
So now, on the marquee, the show is listed as “The ‘Hoo Haa” Monologues”.
Seriously. This makes me angrier than the Yankees.
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?
A vagina is a BODY PART like a leg, or an armpit – just way fancier and more amazing. But some stupid asshole of a woman, who is probably too scared to touch or look at her vagina much less call it by its name, continues to fuck up future generations of women by passing along her issues of vaginal shame.
Be proud, ladies! Especially you, Niece! Not to mirror Ensler’s message or anything, but you can pass watermelon sized babies through that thing! You can have multiple orgasms (by yourself)! People enjoy eating it! It is cooler than anything stupid men of the world will ever invite! It’s better than a sea of iPods, Nintendo Wiis and Jet Blue with Direct TV!
The world is full of men who whip out their dicks on subways and wag them around in people’s faces, but we can’t even call our vaginas by their real name? At a time when our President is synonymous with the word, you’d think it’d be okay to say VAGINA.
Especially when someone with one could do a way better job of running the country.
[A sidenote – during my senior year olf college I performed in The Vagina Monologues. My monologue was called “My Angry Vagina”. I am sure you can see things haven’t changed]