Baio, Me Say Baio

I had a lot of crushes when I was a kid – Mackenzie Astin, the boy who starred in the Black Stallion Movie, the adopted brother on Little House On The Prairie. I was a horndog, seven years old and ready to kiss on the lips with no tongue. Naturally, Scott Baio was high up on the list. Charles In Charge was kind of a strange show – it wasn’t on a network so it felt like it was in perpetual syndication but with new episodes. Still, he was bonetastic, and Italian (looking?), which would make my grandmother happy.

Then Scott Baio boned a lot of hot chicks. Following all this boot knocking he got ugly and stopped working. Now he is pitching a book about all those chicks that he took to bed, including – get your vomit bucket ready – Liza Minelli.

If I were casting an ultra-independent movie, I’d definitely cast Baio, along with Jennifer Grey, Tara Reid, David Schwimmer and Suri Cruise. I would be the toast of Sundance right now.


1 Response to “Baio, Me Say Baio”

  1. 1 Nora January 26, 2007 at 3:46 pm

    What I find awkward about the Liza Minelli thing, besides the fact that it’s Liza Minelli, is that they both appeared on Arrested Development together…awkward?

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January 2007
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