Academia Batesina

For some reason today I’ve had a bunch of people come to my blog through Facebook. I am excited. Are they Bates students? Are YOU?

I LOVE my college. I envy you fuckers who are still up there chillaxing in Ladd Library, arranging your classes to be in the afternoon so you can make a day of Sunday River (even my unathletic ass did this), while enjoying the Androscoggin-like flow of Gritty’s Best Brown.

I would write 1000 Senior Theses to be back in Lewiston, Maine.

Coincidentally, Bates has been calling my ass up as of late looking for donations for the Annual Fund. I haven’t answered, but the 207 area code is a dead giveaway. This was my job in college – calling alums for money – and I would dig around the alumni names until I got to David Chokachi– Bates’s only famous alum besides Bryant Gumbel. They hit me up last year and caught me one night while I was drunk. I just wanted to chat with the student caller about the magic of Bates life and somehow got talked into donating a whooping $26 – because if I donated more than I did the previous year ($25), the college would match my donation. Aren’t I an asshole? An asshole with no money and a degree in Women’s Studies. But once I drank 20 beers in a day.

YEAH BATES!

So please call me Bates College.
$27 is waiting in my bank account with your name on it.

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1 Response to “Academia Batesina”


  1. 1 Dustin January 17, 2007 at 4:40 pm

    They got me for 1 dollar last year. This year they got me for none because I am currently unemployed.


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