Celebrity Feuds = Ceuds

People must be really desperate to not think about all those blasted up body parts in Iraq barreling through the air like shooting stars that grant really shitty wishes, because today’s top news stories was all about the Donald vs. Rosie.

Here is what is going on: Rosie is right and Donald is nuts. Sure, they’re both crazy, but Rosie was just doing her job as a comedienne hired to talk on that round table talk show she moderates. Also she was so fucking funny that my dad laughed at her bit.

So Rosie wins.

Donald had nothing nice to say except insulting her big girl size, which only highlights his inability to articulate whatever argument he thinks he has. He is mad because Rosie is right. That whole Miss USA thing was a big publicity stunt and he is a fugly dude who has ruined the West Side of Manhattan, which I think speaks more about his morals than all of them hos he’s boned.

This Ceud is boring. I am just scared Barbara is mad and is going to take my Rosie away, at which case I will launch into the greatest panic attack one has ever seen trying to watching something other than The View at 11 am every weekday morning.

I WANT MY HOUSEWIFE TV!

Now pay attention friends, because a much more entertaining Ceud that has been brewing on low for a few weeks has suddenly picked up heat. Reichen Lelmhiglkdjkdmhlbmg, that hot piece of buttcheek who won The Amazing Race, wrote a tell-all book about being gay in the military, and most recently stuck it in Lance Bass, has come out against pig-faced uber-blogger Perez Hilton. It started here on his MySpace blog and has now escalated to this!

And here’s why Reichen is mad.

Lots of people hate Perez (X17 is suing him for stealing their photos), and he does come across as a bloated self obsessed douchebag who is too busy hanging on to every word out of Paris’s clitoris to perfect the remedial coke drawings he dots on celebs’s noses in photos.

But his website is really good (most of the time).

I for one, care less about the Ceud and more about the supposed A+ celebs who are joing Reichen to fight Perez. Some guesses:

  • Maniston
  • Vampire Tooth Dunst
  • Beyonce
  • Beyonce’s crappy weave
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2 Responses to “Celebrity Feuds = Ceuds”


  1. 1 natasha December 24, 2006 at 9:22 pm

    I love Rosie too. You and I are daytime TV soulmates. Also, don’t worry. Barbara will never take Rosie off the air. Rosie is ratings gold! And Barbara loves her.

  2. 2 katespencer December 26, 2006 at 1:25 am

    I could not live without you and our frighteningly similar TV tastes, FancyFace.


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