Dear young teens who keep coming to my blog after searching for “Kendra’s sunglasses on Laguna Beach”,
Hey – wassup? I really like your highlights. Wow are you wearing True Religion jeans? I wore bowling shoes when I was your age. That wasn’t that long – oh wait, it was like 10 years ago. I’m old. Where did my life go? WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME! Oh – what – you have to get off your Sidekick and go to class? Sorry.
So, look, I don’t know what sunglasses Kendra wore on Laguna Beach. I am sure they were cute, expensive and slutty, just like her! Ha ha – you’e not laughing. Okay, well look. That girl was kind of a c-word, and she was really only hot because she doesn’t eat and had those big fake nails and Cami around her all the time, who can make old, hardened dog shit look bangin’.
Do you really even want to be like Kendra? She had zero redeeming qualities going for her besides her whiney voice and hotastic tendacies! She probably has spread it for a few dudes by now and she’s only like, 17. And, blegh, that boyfriend of her’s, Tyler or whatever – he was kind of weak-faced and pussed out.
Okay, so you want to be like her. Okay,fine. Good luck finding your feminist footing in this penis-run world, but fine.
So I’ll do you a favor and show you some sunglasses that I like. Who am I? I am a 27 year old connoisseur of Old Navy clothes – that’s who I am!
You probably won’t take my advice. I guess I don’t blame you. My sunglasses cost $9 at a Walgreen’s in Arizona.
Sunglasses #1 – These are HOTT and not as cheesey as Chanel shades
Sunglasses #2 – You will probably want Chanel, so you might as well go all out
Sunglasses # 3 – But if you want to be cool and not a conformist (no, conforming is BAD)