There’s nothing I like more than rising with the dawn as the rooster gently crows me awake, stepping across the frosted fields gently so as not to wake winter’s slumber, coaxing my cows to provide me with enough milk to feed my ever growing family, and returning home to find this picture of Cory Kennedy and LohAAn on my computer screen.
I will confess that I secretly love Cory Kennedy. I will just have to get over the fact that she is 8 and has Chanel ballet flats and better clothes that I will ever know in my lifetime. You have to give her a little credit for making a face like that whilst posing with the most self-serious C-Bag in the world.
By the way, you LA trons, unless you are hopping the first bus to Iraq/Darfur/South Central LA, the peace sign has got to go.
It’s reserved for people who are actually working their way toward peace through action, not toward the bathroom counter through a massive pile of coke. Though wearing your white puffy coat from 1998 in da club is definitely a good way to prepare for the heat and humidity of a war zone.
So is giving the camera your best BJ mouth.
And as if I wasn’t filled with enough rage, LohAAn is now wearing fake blue contacts: