Young and Tender

I should hope by now that you have made yourself familiar with the latest Lindsay Lohan crackhead email scandal.

While there have been a couple in the past, this one is the greatest of all to date – a bizarre rant about taking her assistant and the tabloids down and changing the world because Lindsay has a timeless impact on all generations. She’s right – my dead great-grandfathers totally want to ski in a big pile of blow with her and then go crazy in her jacuzzi. And by jacuzzi I mean her vagina. And her actual jacuzzi.

Slate has the whole story and the ENTIRE letter, which was sent to 18 of her favorite 40 year old cronies. You have to feel bad for her, because she is clearly strangely desperate to change her image and inexplicably, the world – one vag shot at a time. For some reason, bitch left me off the email chain, but Lindsay do not worry – I know Al Gore and both the Clintons and am speed dialing them RIGHT NOW to get them on your side.

VIVA OUR ADEQUITE ENTERTAINER!

 

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