I’m a little cranky these days about certain things, but I am pretty sure that the world is a giant shithole of dumbness. It is like one big episode of Saved By The Bell without the witty, intelligent 90’s dialogue and dance-offs.
Here is proof:
1. Nicole Richie attempts to write for Page Six with this obvious “Blind Item” on her MySpace. I probably would have gone with “leather face” as opposed to “raisin face”, but overall it’s a nice piece.
2. This self-flatulating douchebag should hop the first bus to Iraq. I’m sure the people of Fallujah would have a blast beheading to some Joy Division.
Sidenote 2a: The ironic use of the word “Niggazz” has got to stop. I know it’s super hip and classy, but move on to something else, homie. Also – slavery, you stupid L Train Nike-head.
Sidenote 2b: I really hate these douchebags.
3. Lindsay Lohan is batshit coked up looney tunes. One minute she is accusing Paris Hilton of beating her and then a few hours later she is shoving herself next to BSpears’ cellulite cheeks in Paris’s Back To The Future car.
Come to think of it, Girlfriend is not really that retarded – just kind if sad and awkward, like someone you used to know who is now paralyzed. LiLo has a sperm’s worth of talent and she is just blowing it on really crazy nosebleeds.
“I just snorted two pounds of blow, bitches!”
4. Iraq, that Russian spy who was offed, Michael Richards, NYPD shooting at an unarmed groom-to-be 50 times and killing him, the assasination of that Lebanese minister, yadda yadda yadda – the world is retarded.
5. Every ho on the Upper East Side has baby boners for this Tinsley Mortimer fugboat. I am not sure why she is generating panty-twisting, as she just looks like a WASPified version of the woman who used to play Kristin on Days Of Our Lives:
Oh I get it! She’s REALLY good at her eating disorder and shopping at Intermix. Silly me.
All this early morning rage has me tired. I’m going back to sleep ya’ll.