Why Carson Daly

I feel a little guilty about my Carson Daly video, because as the comments on it have pointed out, it is “funny!” but also, “MEAN”.

So I wikied Carson, only to find out – he is a CANCER CRUSADER! Carson lost his dad to cancer and his mom is a breast cancer survivor and together they are CANCER ACTIVISTS!  I’m a HUGE asshole!

But wait! Before I give in to my guilt, let me remind myself and explain to all of you why Carson deserves to be belittled. Amazing cancer activism aside (THANK YOU CARSON), my insomnia has led me to watch his talk show while in my bedroom in Boston where I do not have cable, and let me say this: Last Call with Carson Daly is HORRIFIC. Not only does he deliver his monologue like a doctor relaying horrible news to a patient’s family, he did a bit called “Shout Outs”, where he shouted out, among other completely boring and irrelevant things, HIS TIVO.

Yes, in a joke that probably aired on a billion other talk shows and was performed in a billion other stand up routines in mother-effing 2002, Carson Daly shouted out his TiVo for suggesting a Matt Damon movie after he recorded a different film starring Will Hunting.

TiVo jokes are not funny anymore. They are not pop-culturally relevant. They are dated and dumb and it was NOT FUNNY. NOT FUNNY CARSON! And why are you SO SKINNY? Why did you leave TRL?!?! WHY CARSON!?!

I sat there at 2 AM in my bed steaming. And then, to make it worse, he shouted out Pink Is The New Blog in an awkward attempt to get his show some gossip blog cred and screen time. Here’s a clip of it that I found on YouTube:

So….that should explain things.


7 Responses to “Why Carson Daly”

  1. 1 brendan November 9, 2006 at 4:49 pm

    kate, carson daly went to my high school. graduated the year before i did. not a nice guy. he was captain of the golf team and the president of “students for life” the pro life club on campus. i know someone who keyed his car.

    i might’ve already told you that, if i did, my apologies.

  2. 2 Chin December 13, 2006 at 7:48 pm

    Yeah I’m normally a fan of late-night TV, and yes I love my TiVO. TiVO jokes are still funny (to me) but I agree: Carson Daly is just not that funny. Why is he still on the air? He needs to fire his writers and hire the guys who write for Jay Leno.

  3. 3 Fred Durks December 22, 2006 at 4:42 pm

    Carson Daly sucks Big time! Carson Daly loves the cock, loves it!

    word up

  4. 4 kmc March 2, 2007 at 2:07 am

    carson daly is not funny, he insults his audience, is scary to look at, is mean to his guests.

    why the fuck is he on there air when there are many more talented worthy people out there who would kill at that spot.

    stupid fucking corporate america can never get it right.

    by the way jay leno sucks donkey balls too.

  5. 5 The Truth March 21, 2007 at 1:02 am

    Well, “Brendan”, what does being captain of a golf team and president of “Students for Life” have to do with his current show? Actually, nothing. Now, if you want to say he’s not entertaining, that I can agree with.

  6. 6 Mike October 20, 2007 at 12:55 am

    This explains why after conan, who is MUCH funnier than carson, everyone goes to sleep, or changes the channel. Carson, you are a fucking joke. I’m hearing him now as I type this, just not at all good. I hate his intros, notice how he doesn’t have an announcer like all the other late-night hosts? Thats because nobody wants to announce the opening to his show.

  7. 7 Wolfgang November 29, 2007 at 12:09 am

    I’ve always detested this smarmy prick. To me he represents the 180 degree shift of MTV from cool to incredibly lame. He gets a lot of credit for turning that organization around. Then he did a horrifying latenight show. The he jumped on the web 2.0 bandwagon and launched community site called Carson.tv, which has turned into a crappy domain registrar for the .tv tld

    But back to the crappy latenight show for which he broke the strike. Carson, NOBODY watches your show unless they can’t sleep, you retard. Who do you think you are, Conan O’brien????

    Please sign the petition and Exile Carson Daly to the Arctic Now!

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